Dressy Bessy

I went dress clothes shopping with my mom today. That's always fun.

Being a jeans-and-sweater girl, dressing up all purdy goes against every grain of my being, but every now and again I can't get away from it. And it honestly never ceases to amaze me at how little my mother knows my style/tastes/personality after being around me for 23 years, give or take.

My mother considers herself to be a professional shopper, and she's quite good at getting great stuff for super cheap. But when it comes to clothing me, she really has no clue. At all. Here is a short list of things that she made me try on because "clothes looks different on the rack than they do on the body. Sofi. SOFI. HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE IT? YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED IT ON!"

• a shiny silver button-down dress shirt that made me look a bit like Ellen Degeneres, were she born on Mars


• a black see-through top with a rubber band looking thing that pulled across my breasts. Very Electric Circus/45-year-old Francophone hooker


• a horrific shirt with a freakishly huge and fluorescent pink Vampirella collar


• this insane cowl neck thing with roses and birds and hell all over it


• a black and red tank top with big-ass flowers all over it that I believe was made entirely of sequins


• finally, a monstrous bustier of sorts made of thick black lace with sheer sleeves that might have been sexy for a month in 1983

Thankfully, my time spent in fitting room purgatory was rewarded with a lovely, classy, simple, feminine black top with a mandarin collar that I actually like. (And mom even paid for it).

In other news, Conan O'Brien has been taping Late Night here for the past few days. I didn't manage to get tickets, and am pretty bummed about that since I've been a fan for many years. So close, yet so far. Adding to my bummery was overhearing a conversation between these two little punks on the subway the other day. They were just heading home from the taping and were talking about how funny Triumph was, etc. I wanted to shout "I loved Conan before you were even zygotes!" but then I realized a) they were probably not zygotes, but eight or nine when I first became a fan of Conan's and b) they probably had guns stashed in their big black trenchcoats. So I said nothing. I sure did sulk, though! Boyyy did I sulk.

(Now playing: "Billy Billy", The Smugglers)