Sunday, September 12, 2004

Big Smile (Like You Mean It)

Jesus H. Christ. I have GOT to stop talking to Matt Barber at his shows. I always end up sounding like a creepy, psychotic fangirl.

Observe:

Me: Hi Matt!

Matt: Oh. Hey Sofi. How's it going?

Me: Good, good! Great set! Listen, I know you probably think I'm stalking you, because I've seen you in three different cities in the past month...

Matt: Yeah. You're, uh, all over the place.

Me: Ha ha! I KNOW! But I live here now. It's so great! Anyway, you just happen to be playing the places where I just happen to BE! It works out so well.

Matt: Okay.

Me (realizing how insane my babbling is sounding, and deciding to bail immediately before causing any further damage): Well! Bye!

Matt: Bye.

GodDAMN.

The funny part is, I don't even have a crush on Matt Barber. I mean, I do find him terrifically endearing, but he's no this guy or anything.

In other funny/creepy news, I was walking to Cafe Campus tonight to meet Carol-Ann for the show, and took Coloniale (a less travelled and worse-lit street than St. Laurent) because it was faster. This young guy - maybe 18 or so - walked right in front of me and tried to engage me in conversation in French. At first I thought he was asking me for spare change, but then... actually, you know what? Let me just use that script format again.

Boy: Blah blah blah something crazy in French.

Me: Sorry?

Boy: Oh. Sorry! I like when your breasts bounce, you make the tongue move!

Me: Uhhh. Thanks. (Proceed to quickly walk away, thoroughly freaked out.)

Boy: Please not to be taking offense!

It occurred to me later that I was wearing my Rolling Stones logo shirt, and apparently I make the tongue on it move when my breasts bounce.

I'm glad a complete stranger took the time to point that out to me on the street at night.

(Now playing: "Smile Like You Mean It", The Killers)


5 Comments:

Blogger benji said...

Boy: Oh. Sorry! I like when your breasts bounce, you make the tongue move!Best pick up line. Ever!
(to be said in best Comic Store Guy voice.)

7:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn, I wish I still had my Black Market Rolling Stones shirt. Sigh.

Daph.

8:39 AM  
Blogger Sofi said...

Gee Daph. Hmm. Darn. I wonder where that could have disappeared to...

(Just kidding. Mine is actually a grey tank-top with an Andy Warhol-esque colour scheme and is from Urban Outfitters.)

6:21 PM  
Blogger lindsay said...

awww - well, matt should be so lucky to have you as a stalker! i'm glad you went to the show and saw my precious peter (isn't he lovely? isn't he wonderful?)...

11:40 PM  
Anonymous Ivan Splawn said...

I read an interesting article on it I would like to share with you...

1:20 PM  

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