Thursday, July 06, 2006

I'm With The Band (Unless They're Beardy)

Things were a little slow at work today, so I made a mostly chronological list of all of the bands/musicians that I've ever interviewed. They are:

The Flashing Lights
Sloan
The Constantines
The Meligrove Band
The Orange Alabaster Mushroom
By Divine Right
The Smugglers
Ashley MacIsaac
The Stills
Metric
Matt Barber
Jill Barber
The Tijuana Bibles
Collective Soul
Cuff The Duke
Measha Brueggergosman

And The Bicycles next week.

There have been more, but that's most of the better-known ones. Some of them I've interviewed several times, which is probably why I feel like such a grizzled veteran.

Inititally, I forgot about interviewing the Constantines. That's probably because I was impressively drunk that particular night. We are talking about epic drinking here. The interview happened in Kingston when I was maybe 20, about a year before they exploded. I remember very little about the interview itself (although I must have it on tape somewhere). What I do remember is making sex eyes at Bry while Dallas made sex eyes at me. Afterwards, Dallas followed me around the EngSoc lounge like a puppy. While flattered (and, to re-iterate, fantastically drunk), I dodged his advances.

WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU DO THAT, you ask?

Dallas had a beard (the facial hair kind. Not the Katie Holmes kind.)

Anyone who knows me knows that I generally find beards repulsive. His face was furry and his lips looked hot dog pink and I was just not attracted. At all.

Some time later, I saw Joel McConvey interviewing the Cons on Studio Q. And guess who was clean shaven? Right. And guess who was shockingly beautiful under his beard (not to mention chin-dimpled)? Riiiiiight.

This photo doesn't really do him justice, but mark my words: Dallas is the pretty. And his name is DALLAS, for crying out loud! We could have named our children Houston and...I don't know...Tucson or something.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Woe is me!

It's probably for the best that nothing happened, since I started vomiting maybe 30 seconds after I got home that night...and didn't stop for hours.

Similarly, a Constantine who will remain nameless (not Dallas) totally threw up all over Matt's bathroom that very same night, but you'll have to get that story from him.

Years later, whenever I see the Constantines play live, I throw aggressive fuck-me eyes at Dallas in the hopes that he'll recognize me as the one that got away.

Alas, that ship has sailed.

So ends storytime with Aunty Sofi. Night night.

(Now playing: "Sloop John B", The Beach Boys)

7 Comments:

Blogger JTL said...

Isn't Tuscon in Arizona, though? I thought you'd be sticking to cities in Texas. Name one of 'em "Corpus Christi," I say; call him/her "Corp" for short.

11:49 PM  
Blogger Sofi said...

Yeah, Tucson's in Arizona. I just got lazy with the thinking about Texan cities.

Although Waco has a pretty ring to it.

1:41 AM  
Anonymous kelly o! said...

you could call him the waco kid.

11:30 AM  
Anonymous Matt said...

Oh, why did you have to go and tell the story about one of the guys getting sick in my bathroom on the Internet? It's not as if he even made a mess. He was very well behaved.

That's so negative! Especially since, on an earlier occasion, they actually cleaned that same bathroom. That's a much nicer story, although it's less of a "rock and roll" kind of tale.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Sofi said...

Wait...the Cons cleaned your bathroom BEFORE they got sick in it?

That's adorable! Such nice boys. Good for their mums.

10:05 AM  
Blogger Albino Squirrel said...

a) I'm pretty sure that that story about him vomiting over Matty and I's bathroom isn't complete. Not unless you mention the part where they thought my sister was 'really hot' in the photo in my room.

My sister was thirteen when that shot was taken.

b) If it makes you feel any better, the bastards at work made me shave because the beard gets in the way of my SARS mask. Fuckers.

7:15 PM  
Blogger B. Wong said...

I thought Steve was totally cute the first time I saw them play.

3:52 PM  

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