Somewhere Over The Rainbow

The good news: I can already breathe easier, my posture is improving, my lower back has stopped aching, I will be able to exercise with just one sports bra, I will be able to sleep in any position I so choose, sex with a bra will become a distant memory, button-down shirts will actually fit, yawning will no longer be so difficult, pretty lacy bras will replace full-support granny bras and I can finally stop being so fucking self-conscious about my breasts.

The bad news: I will probably never be selected as a model for Beautiful Big Busted Amateurs. Well, shoot.

I'm feeling a lot better these days (aside from some oozing), but that should let up soon). The road to new-and-improved boobs was not as smooth as I had hoped, but I think it will all be very worth it in the end.

I've been reading online support forums for women who have undergone breast reductions. This has usually been pretty helpful and reassuring. It's good to know that many others have gone through the same experience and have had the same issues/pain/worries/complications that I've been dealing with on a daily basis.

Here's the thing, though. People who troll online forums are sometimes a little...off. Not necessarily crazy, but there are certainly a lot of weirdo neurotics who type "lol" a lot and crochet capelets for their cats.

On one forum, they use acronyms like BR (Breast Reduction) and BL (Breast Lift) and PS (Plastic Surgeon). Fine. But one acronym that popped up again and again was OTR. As in "I went OTR three weeks ago and..." At first I thought this meant Off The Record, but that made absolutely no sense. Onto The Reduction? Only Three Racists? Anyway, upon further reading I discovered that OTR means Over The Rainbow. Many of these women referred to getting their breast reduction as "going over the rainbow". As in, there's a land that I heard of, once in a lullaby.

Ummmmmmm. I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.

Interesting fact: A google seach on Judy Garland's breasts has informed me that hers were tightly bound during the filming of "The Wizard of Oz" in order to make her portrayal of a little girl more believable. So maybe that crazy OTR crap does make some sense, after all.

On a completely unrelated note, this scares the unholy shit out of me.

(Now playing: "Rose Colored Glasses", The Baroques)