Monday, August 21, 2006

That Don't Impress Me Much

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I was unimpressed by the following things today:

  • A teller informing me that the hours at another Royal Bank branch were until 6PM. I went out of my way to head there today. The doors were locked. It closed at 4:30. Summer hours, schmummer hours - I still have to bank, you motherfucking motherfuckers! (Unchecked rage = time to switch banks?)
  • That Kraft Dinner commercial that cops the riff from "Psychotic Reaction" but changes it just enough that I bet they don't have to pay Count Five any royalties.
  • Co-workers who refuse to flush the toilet after they pee. I don't know who the perp is yet, but I intend to find out. For shaaaame!
  • The cover of today's Toronto Sun which featured a photograph of John Mark Karr with the headline "Snake On A Plane". Ick. (Granted, nothing tops their infamous "BASTARDS!" headline from September 12th, 2001).
  • The fact that my Epi-Pen does not have a prescription sticker on it and therefore I cannot bring it aboard the plane because it is a liquid even though I may desperately require its use during the flight if I happen to eat a stray peanut and so I'm going to have to make an appointment to see my doctor just to get a prescription to get a new Epi-Pen with a sticker on it and I'll have to pay like $100 for it too and it's insane that Air Canada doesn't keep Epi-Pens on board in case of an in-flight allergic reaction but they don't but I suppose it doesn't really matter since anaphylaxis at 20000 feet is basically a done-deal-you're-dead sorta thing because an emergency landing would take too long and all of that but I'm still pretty pissed that I have to pay $100 for a bloody sticker, essentially!
  • Paris Hilton on her CD: "I, like, cry when I listen to it..." She's not the only one.
(Now playing: "Bob Dylan Blues", Syd Barrett)


Anonymous Matt said...

Yeah, that Sun cover pissed me off. It's just the way they try and have their cake and eat it too, you know? You can take an indignant moral high ground and condemn a man who's confessed to a heinous crime, or you can tie it into the biggest, lamest punchline of the summer, but you can't do both.

4:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

all i can say is, you're lucky that you don't have someone smearing shit on the toilet seats at your work. that's what i get to deal with most days.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Sofi said... you work at the Waverly Hotel?

10:37 PM  
Blogger JTL said...

I love "Psychotic Reaction" -- it was on this set of K-Tel "Best of the '60s" tapes my mom ordered off the TV when I was about nine. There was an entire tape (the blue-coloured one, I think) which was full of Nuggets-ish stuff like that... but now, alas, that tape is nowhere to be found.

In other '60s music news, I was in the new Food Basics at East York Town Centre yesterday (formerly a Dominion, but now a lot cheaper), and I heard "Time Won't Let Me" by the Outsiders as I was in the cereal aisle. I think Wesley Willis had it wrong... people should go to Food Basics "to listen to the rock music."

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Daniel said...

I was impressed by the following:

You went to see the constantines recently and I'm sitting at home like a sucker.

You have a direct link to Jay Pinkerton's site, and he's like... funny as shit. This may also mean that you belong to the PWOT community. In which case we should have a Toronto Cheesefest.



5:57 PM  
Anonymous benjamin said...

According to the updated TSA site, you can bring "Diabetes-Related Supplies/Equipment" such as "pens." I would call the airport and request permission to bring your epi-pen. Hype it up if you have to, stating that if fish or peanuts are served you'll need to use it IMMEDIATELY, and grovel/offer sexual favours, until they permit it.

Good luck!

6:02 PM  
Blogger Sofi said...

JTL: The Outsiders are the BEST. I am listening to "You Remind Me" at this very moment, in fact.

Daniel: Jay Pinkerton is a university friend of mine. My very next post will be solely dedicated to him and his most recent endeavor, in fact. STAY TUNED! (But I have no idea what PWOT means, nor am I a member of it. Pinkerton Will Overtake Toronto?)

Benjamin: I already grovelled. They need a prescription sticker. Case closed.

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Daniel said...

PWOT stands for Pinkerton posted on there for quite a while, and did a lot of the daily news skims. It's a comedy site that has a bunch of articles. The forums used to be a glorious haven of comedy gold. Now they're not quite as good, but they occasionally bring the funny.

Pinkerton used to do a decent amount of articles and such for them until he got the jop working for National Lampoon's official site. However, he got David Wong and John Cheese (I don't know their real names) to do some articles for the Lampoon online magazine for money.

And there's your history lesson on useless nerd comedy website crap. You're welcome.



1:38 PM  
Anonymous benjamin said...

I can't find it on the CBC or CBC Montreal websites yet, but all day they've been telling a story of a doctor who died on a golf course after being stung by a bee. He injected himself with his epipen, but it wasn't enough (severe allergy), and he died before the ambulance got to him. Doctors are now advising that people with severe allergies, or people who are going to be in places where an ambulance could not reach them within 20 miunutes (airplanes were given as an example) of a potential allergy attack, carry (and use) two epipens.

This isn't meant as a SCARE TACTIC a la CNN, but rather as et another way to convince the airport to let you fly ("but the CBC insists that I should fly with two! it was on the news every half hour all day long!!")

4:49 PM  

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