(Try To) Say My Name (Without Laughing Like an Asshole)

I work at a busy in-call centre as a customer service representative for a large daily newspaper. I probably talk to close to one hundred people per shift. Relating funny work stories re: random ineptitards who call us and spout forehead-slapping stupidity would necessitate creating another blog entirely. So, instead of making fun of people who deserve it, I will now share with you a bit of cruel humour at the expense of generally nice people...with really awful names. I know that I - Sofi Papamarko - am not particularly one to talk. My name is arduous, contains many syllables and sounds a bit like popping corn when pronounced correctly, but at least my name is not...

• Judy Belcher


• Clarence Bytheway


• Gloria L. Bejesus


• Hugh Pugh


• Golda Fischenbacher


• and finally, my new favourite...Barbara Huha

Anyway, I think I should be commended on my graceful and respectful interaction with all of these people. I did not laugh at them at all while on the phone with them. Instead, I have chosen to deride them publicly, on my blog. Good.

I found another 99 cent bin wonder at my local sketchy drug mart. Twice Removed on cassette! Fun!

I'm going to a French academy to take a language proficiency test in a bit, in preparation for moving to Montreal. I haven't used French in ages. All I really know is "Je joue au hockey" (which is a vicious lie), "J'Adore Dior", "Poutine, s'il vous plait?" and "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"

Speaking of coucher-ing, does anyone want to sleep with my friend Jay? I'd appreciate it. I think he probably would, too.

(Now playing: "All For Swinging You Around", The New Pornographers)