Tuesday, March 29, 2005

This Lucky, Charming Man

This is so so awesome. I wonder if there's a thesis option...

In other news, it recently came up in conversation that neither my roommate, her boyfriend nor I had ever tried Lucky Charms cereal in our entire lives. We all had good, health-conscious mums who bought Shredded Wheat and Cheerios.

So the other day, I brought us home a box. The unanimous verdict is in:

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Lucky Charms are freaking GROSS, yo.

The pink hearts, shooting stars, purple horseshoes, green clovers, blue moons, pots of gold, rainbows and red balloons have neither the taste nor feel of marshmallows. They're hard and sickeningly sweet and have a horrible, chalky texture.

The cereal part in and of itself is fairly inoffensive, except that they are shaped like letters from the alphabet and are therefore very, very sharp. Oatmeal shrapnel.

In conclusion, we do not recommend.

I think we'll give Trix a whirl next week.

Wait...what? Trix are for kids? Oh, nevermind then.

(Now playing: "Room in Your Brain", Grand Theft Bus)

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Pictures of You (err...Me)

Check it out! Updated profile photo!

Note the Queen's Eng. jacket in the background.

I got really tired of looking at that same old photo of me circa 1999. It was inaccurate because:

a) I do not wear candy necklaces or sparkly butterfly barrettes anymore
b) I am about 20 pounds heavier these days and
c) I am no longer nineteen years old, so the youthful gleam you see on my cheeks this time around is due to a healthy dollop of Revlon Skinlights.

My eyes are still pretty scrinchy, though.

Eat your heart out, Gilbert Gottfried.

(Now playing: "Je Suis Comme Je Suis", Les Sequelles)

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

But I'm Scared of the Dial Tone

Honest to God, sometimes I feel like I spend 97% of my life by the phone waiting for boys to call me.

(Now playing: "There Is Nothing I Can Do", The Organ)

Friday, March 18, 2005

Hating on Leah

Sofi says:
Right now I just want a future that doesn't involve working at McDonald's!

Lukas [ You Got the Heart of a Champion! ] says:
hahaha. i have confidence that you will be a Famous Canadian Journo

Sofi says:
I do not.

Lukas [ You Got the Heart of a Champion! ] says:
just like.. yknow, what's his name. with that column?

Sofi says:
I am sad and anxious about my future.

Sofi says:
Yeah, that guy!

Lukas [ You Got the Heart of a Champion! ] says:
and, uh, whozits, from that weekly thing that comes stuck in my Globe?

Sofi says:
Yeah, her!

Lukas [ You Got the Heart of a Champion! ] says:
you got it. famous like them.

Sofi says:

Lukas [ You Got the Heart of a Champion! ] says:
i think you should be like leah mclaren

Sofi says:
I hate her. But that is only because I am secretly jealous of her and want her cool life.

Lukas [ You Got the Heart of a Champion! ] says:
"We were at Bar One last night for the Prada spring line party, and surveying the crowd, I confess to a certain sense of ennui...."

Sofi says:

Lukas [ You Got the Heart of a Champion! ] says:
"... at which point I turned to Justin Trudeau and said..."

Sofi says:
"I simply do not comprehend why everyone claims to have been a loser in high school! I mean, some of us must have been popular. Take yours truly, for instance. I was extremely well-liked. Boys who I loved returned the favour. I was pretty and cool and had beautiful clothes."

Lukas [ You Got the Heart of a Champion! ] says:
"... but the poorly-tutored barstaff brought me Moet when I asked for Perrier-Jouet..."

Sofi says:
You ARE Leah McLaren, aren't you?!?! Secretly.

Lukas [ You Got the Heart of a Champion! ] says:
Yes, I secretly am. But sorry, loves, as much as I do love talking about my fabulous life, I must be off to go skiing with scandanavian royalty and the bassist from Interpol.

Sofi says:
Bitch. I'll scratch your cultured eyes out.

(Now playing: "Hello, I Am in Delaware", City and Colour)

Addendum: For the record, Lukas and I totally hated on Leah before reading this.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Shampoo Planet

On the metro yesterday, I saw some pretty awesome graffiti. Tragically, I don't own a digital camera.

I decided that I wouldn't let that stop me from sharing, so I've re-created it as best I can, below:

I like how using Dove shampoo completely washes away Jane's concerns about the omnipresence of advertising.

She's right, though. Just look at that shine!

(Now playing: "Cat in Sunshine", The Lucksmiths)

Sunday, March 13, 2005

A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action

Three brief conversations that essentially summarize my weekend spent in Kingston

#1 - Drunk in the EngSoc Lounge

Dave: Somebody just left this General Tao chicken lying here!
All: Sweet!
All: (eat eat eat)
Sofi: Um...how long has it been sitting here?
Dave: Not that long.
All: (eat eat eat)
Sofi: Who does it belong to?
All: ...
All: (eat eat eat)

(And later:)

Sofi: Wicked! Only slightly gnawed-on brie! Now, let me just eat around this lipstick mark...

#2 - Whilst DJing at the Toucan

Guy: Heyyy - do you got any Spirit of the West?
Me: Ummmm. No.
Guy (pauses): You got any Bif?
Me: Nope. Sorry!
Guy (dismissively): Pffffff! (walks away in disgust)

#3 - In bed at 3:30AM, after a measly 4 pints of Labatt Fiddy

Stomach: I feel pretty sick. I think I'm going to...
Brain: Shh. You're fine.
Stomach: But I'd feel a lot better if I just...
Brain: NO! You're all right, you hear me?
Stomach: But....I....
Brain: Shut the fuck UP, you stupid BITCH!

(Now playing: "You're Gonna Miss Me", The 13th Floor Elevators)

P.S. I hardcore heart Lukas and Indra. Thank you both.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Take Me Home

Dear Kingstonfolk,

See you in T-minus 2 days.

(Now playing: "Take Me Out", The Scissor Sisters)

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Going Japanese

I fear my blog has become overly music-centric lately. I promise to remedy this in the near future...but since this was Canadian Music Week, here's just one more.

I went to Toronto this weekend to celebrate my father's 58th birthday. I am a thoughtful and dutiful daughter.

Alright, fine. The truth is I went home this weekend to see the almighty Zoobombs from Tokyo play a show at the Comfort Zone. The fact that it also fell on my dear old dad's birthday was nothing but a happy coincidence. More on the Zoobombs later.

On Thursday night, I caught a bunch of shows at the 360. Instead of reviewing them here, I urge you to read the Chart report cards I wrote for The Statues, The Dudes, The Ashgrove and The Remains of Brian Borcherdt. Apologies to Montreal's The Lovely Feathers for missing your set, but reliable sources deemed it super.

Friday night consisted of birthday celebrations and essay procrastination.

Saturday night was the night. After dinner at Oasis with the favourites, I headed to the Comfort Zone for a night of high highs and le le lows. Regrettably, I missed Femme Generation (who gave away free stickers and buttons, thus earning my love sight unseen) and Shikasta, but got there just in time to catch The Two Koreas, which is a band made up of almost every key music critic in the city. Audience reactions were mixed, but I found their set endearing, overall. They do The Fall way better than The Fall do The Fall. And I thoroughly enjoyed watching the always-entertaining Stuart Berman rockstar it up. Next on was quasi-albino pocket friend Gentleman Reg, who was all sparkly and did a very lovely rendition of Give Me the Chance to Fall. I think his voice has improved since I saw him at Pop Montreal (or maybe it was just the acoustics of the place). That led to a performance by the Boy Ballz, who are about as good as their band name suggests. Truly the worst band I have ever experienced (which is saying a lot since I have judged a couple of Battles of the Bands in my day). I couldn't stomach their set, so I retreated to the back of the venue and listened to much better music on my Walkman ("Love After" by The Riots, for the record).



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They were well worth the 5 hour train ride to T.O. (and the 6 hour train ride back to Montreal). When I heard that Don had put aside his love for the Rolling Stones and had recently become inspired by jazz and blues greats like John Coltrane, I was a little worried. I wanted to see a rock show. I was not disappointed. The jazz/blues influences came out in some inspired improvisation, but the music was ROCK. The Zoobombs unleashed a sonic assault and barely gave the audience a chance to applaud, let alone catch their collective breath. In summation: The Zoobombs kicked this city's ass until it was bloody and raw but then the city screamd "More! I demand more!" so they then pulled out a spiked dildo and went to fucking TOWN on Toronto.

Montreal is next in line to totally take it up the ass from the Zoobombs.

Monday. Be there. I know I certainly will be.

(Now playing: "You Can't Be Trusted", The Seeds)