Saturday, December 31, 2005

This Will Be Our Year

Today's horoscope is brought to you by...TOTAL FUCKING ACCURACY.

CANCER (June 22 - July 22)

Few Cancerians will be shedding many tears because 2005 has come to an end. I'm not going to pretend that you won't ever have reason to feel sad again, but let's just say that, in another year, you won't be anywhere near in as much of a hurry to move on.

At the stroke of midnight tonight, I will drink to welcome the new year. But more importantly, I will drink to celebrate the demise of 2005.

And I know I'm not alone.

Good riddance.

(Now playing: "So Long", Rilo Kiley)

Monday, December 26, 2005

Water Under The Bridge

To fill the inevitable bloggy void between Christmas and New Year's Day, here are my five favourite posts from The Bee's Knees this past year. I think they're worth re-visiting for a variety of reasons. The posts are in no particular order.

Going Japanese

Sexual Perpetual Emotion Machine

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

The Most Underrated Man In Hollywood

Reader Meet Author

I'll see you next year.

(Now playing: "A Sight For Sore Eyes", Tom Waits)

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Confessions on a Blog

I must confess.

As mentioned in the comments section in the post below, I am 100% in disco-love with the new Madonna record. It rules. It comes in at #11 on my year-end list and I was too scared to include it because that is the equivalent of painting a gigantic target on my indie credibility.

But you know what? I don't even care! Confessions On A Dancefloor is a fun and addictive record and it serves its purpose and I LOVE IT.

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Pssst...Madonna is the queen of my secretdiscoheart.

(Happy birthday, Ben. I hope this is the 2nd best present you received.)

(Now playing: "Jump", Madonna)

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Top 10s

It's that time of year again.

Since I had to compile my favourite music of the year for Chart, Eye and Aaron Wherry's blog, I figured I may as well post some of it here.

To deter people from leaving anonymous comments along the lines of "Where's Wolf Parade/Sleater-Kinney/Fiona Apple? What's WRONG with you? Hey, are you the kind of person who poo-poos The Arcade Fire or something?", I would like to remind you that music is ever-so-subjective. The following may not be the best albums of 2005. But they were my favourites. I listened to them ad nauseam. I listened at work. I listened at home. I listened on the TTC. A song would come on from one of these albums and I would smile. Or cry. Depending on the album.

I have heard a lot of records this year. Due to the nature of my full-time job, the fact that I wrote reviews for both Chart and UmbrellaMusic and the fact that I spend 40% of my income on music...well, that's a lot of records. And yet...I still didn't listen to all of the releases of 2005. Or even a small percentage of them. No normal human being can listen to - let alone absorb - even 1/4 of the year's releases. Thus, any music critic who claims their list is "The Best of 2005" is pretty much full of crap.

And with that lengthy intro/rant out of the way, I present:

Sofi's Favourite Albums of 2005

1) SUFJAN STEVENS Illinois (Asthmatic Kitty)
2) THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS Twin Cinema (Matador/Mint)
3) LES SEQUELLES Tes Chansons Cruelles (Local Distribution)
4) THE BEES Free The Bees (Virgin)
5) BECK Guero (Interscope)
6) LOVE AS LAUGHTER Laughter's Fifth (Sub Pop)
7) ART BRUT Bang Bang Rock & Roll (Fierce Panda)
8) JOEL PLASKETT La De Da (MapleMusic)
9) THE RAVEONETTES Pretty In Black (Columbia)
10) THE DEADLY SNAKES Porcella (In The Red)

Sofi's Favourite Singles of 2005

(This is hard because there were SO many good singles released this year. See: most of the songs in the albums noted above.)

1) SUFJAN STEVENS - The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts
2) THE WHITE STRIPES - My Doorbell
3) GORILLAZ - Feel Good Inc.
4) CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH - The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth
5) KANYE WEST - Gold Digger (I also dig this video very much)
6) THE RAVEONETTES - Love In a Trashcan
7) METRIC - Monster Hospital
8) BECK - Girl
9) HOT HOT HEAT - Middle of Nowhere
10) THE CLOUD ROOM - Hey Now Now

(Now playing: "Gore Veil", The Deadly Snakes)

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Planets Conspire

Tonight is the annual VideoFACT Christmas party.

There are video screenings at this party.

There are also freely-distributed drink tickets and delicious hors d'oevres and minor Toronto celebrities at this party.

I would have hung out with Daniel and Lindsay and Tracey at this party.

I was looking forward to this party.

But I am not going to this party.

Winter is a motherbitch.

(Now playing: "Nue Au Soleil", Brigitte Bardot. Wishful thinking.)

Monday, December 12, 2005

Let's Not Be Rash

I just got back from a whirlwind weekend in Montreal.

The trip was half lovely and half awful. Which, coincidentally, is exactly how I would describe the year I spent in that city. It's always nice to be consistent.

First, let me tell you about some of the awful. I was looking forward to going dancing with a lovely group of ladies on Saturday night. Unfortunately, I had to bail due to a crazy allergic reaction. I was a little wheezy and thought I had maybe picked up my friend's boyfriend's chest cold. But then my neck started to itch. And then my face started to feel hot. When I checked in the mirror, it looked like I had a sunburn. I told myself it was windburn...until hives started appearing around my mouth.


I called my friends to cancel, took a shower and an allergy pill (I carry such things around with me at all times, on account of the Hummus Incident of 2000). While I was towelling off, I noticed crazy rashes on my neck, upper back, between my breasts and on my hips. And my face was still red and hot and hivey. I popped another allergy pill and that seemed to do it. The hives started to fade.

I fell into bed and dreamed about French pop.

But there was also much loveliness. The weather co-operated, I hung out with lots of wonderful people, and I crammed my soul full of poutine and bagels and beer. Oh my.

Also, I picked up a beautiful French man and brought him home.

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He was a steal at $7.95.

(Now playing: "Things Are Tough All Over", Township Expansion - this has officially become my theme song for 2005, which has also been half lovely and half awful. You can listen here.)

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Laugh Laugh

This is my friend Andrew Johnston.

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Try to remember his partially-obscured face.

Last night, Daniel and I went to Yuk Yuk's to support Andrew in the semi-finals of a comedy search thing. He went up against 15 of the best ( best) amateur stand-up comics in the city. And do you know what that Andrew did? He won, that's what he did!

The finals will be airing on the Comedy Network sometime in February. The winner will receive a prize of $25 000.

Andrew basically rules. We love him.

In other news, a friend asked me if I'd consider DJing his friend's wedding. Flattered though I was, I had to decline. Not only do I not have any of my own equipment, it would probably be a huge fucking disaster:

Me: (Playing obscure Japanese garage) This wedding RULES!
Sobbing bride: Why won't she play "Nights in White Satin"?
Livid groom: (Pounding motion with fists)
Me: (Reluctantly segue into "The Chicken Dance". Head to open bar)

(Now Playing: "Sometime At Night", The Chesterfield Kings)

Monday, December 05, 2005

Nostalgia Machine

I work with a lot of people of my approximate age. People in my immediate vicinity are mostly in their late twenties or early thirties, so we were all kids in the 1980s.

The other day, a co-worker and I were talking about cartoons that we watched when we were little. I was pleased to learn that he was also a big fan of Dr. Snuggles.

Dr. Snuggles, for those of you who don't remember, was this nutty little cartoon about an inventor who bounced around on an umbrella-like pogo stick and who associated with a zany cast of characters, including a tree with pop cans adorning its branches and a camel that smoked a hookah pipe and drank "tea".

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I used to watch it a lot as a kid. In highschool, I would frantically describe this show to people, hoping that they remembered it, too. Most didn't. Some people asked me if I was totally sure I hadn't just dreamed about it.

I...uh...didn't have very many friends in highschool.

My co-worker and I waxed nostalgic for Today's Special, Sebastian & Belle and Astro Boy, among others. But then he brought up The Green Forest.

Holy. Shit.

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Memory is a crazy thing. I had completely forgotten about that show, but then it all came rushing back. I used to watch it maybe twice a day as a kid. And I distinctly remember watching it and eating a pink popsicle in the hospital while recovering from a tonsilectomy at the age of four.

I can still hear the bluejay squacking "Trouble! Trouble!"

The moral of the story? I watched way too fucking much TV as a kid.

(Now Playing: "E-Pro", Beck)

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Cigarette Dangles...

This photo makes me so happy-giddy, I can't not share it.

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You'd have a difficult time convincing me a greater (or more charming) man has ever existed in the entire history of TIME.

Zoi Zoi tonight!

(Now playing: Clothilde, "La Chanson Bete Et Mechante")